{"id":347,"date":"2022-12-05T21:30:46","date_gmt":"2022-12-06T02:30:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/?p=347"},"modified":"2022-12-05T21:30:46","modified_gmt":"2022-12-06T02:30:46","slug":"boots-chapter-14","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/?p=347","title":{"rendered":"Boots Chapter 14"},"content":{"rendered":"

As Boots had listened to Luthi\u2019s story, the light from the rising sun\u00a0had pierced through the trees and was now cresting the tops. He could tell by the how the rays arrowed sharply across the garden and fields that it was going to be another hot day. He debated how to best make sure his mother would be comfortable between the time he left and when Jayna might stop in \u2013 how many blankets she may need, how much water, where to leave the chamber pot. She was asleep when he left, and he did not wake her. She still was not lucid, going in and out of dreams and fevers just as she went in and out of coughing fits, rarely saying more than his name. Everything else was sleep.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Donning his lightest clothing and a hat, Boots set off with his cart of tools. The sky was an intense, cloudless blue, and he was glad he had packed extra water in anticipation of the heat. He had also thought to find the bag of shark\u2019s teeth in the yard where he had thrown it. Surrounded by\u00a0the warmth of the sun and the green smells of his mother\u2019s garden, the fear of the nightmare fizzled away. There was a moment, though, an echo of that deep voice that made his hand hesitate; but he grasped the bag out of defiance and put it in the cart in case he ran into Colin.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite the heat, and his restless sleep, he was relieved to feel the usual strength in his arms and legs as he worked. He was less thrilled at the state of the fields. But he was hopeful and continued to try and salvage as much as possible. He also checked for blight and was relieved to find no new cases in either field.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots toiled away, but it was earlier than usual when he found himself beginning to tire. Apparently, he was not as recovered as he had thought. He was down to his last few gulps of water too, and he worried for his mother, so he made the decision to pack up. No time to visit Colin\u2019s house again, but as Boots walked along the path from the fields he kept looking around, half expecting to spot his friend in the distance. But Colin did not appear.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots wondered which day he might have time to see his friend, maybe a day Jayna could stay a little longer, but the planning proved unnecessary. Off the winding path that led to his cottage, Boots spotted a familiar figure.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin was sitting on a long, flat rock that rested in a large field tangled with long grasses, low shrubs and fragrant herbs. Beyond the field was the marshy pond Meranin brought the geese to. Boots and Colin used to play here\u00a0when they were younger while Meranin gathered herbs in the surrounding fields. They used to pretend the rock was a tall mountain, or a ship, or an island in a sea of green.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The memories were sudden and sharp as Boots set down his cart and approached: the rough surface under his bare feet, the scent of sun-warmed stone and long grasses, Colin\u2019s laughter as he tumbled off the side of the rock, Boots reaching out with a long stick to rescue him from the imaginary waters, his mother\u2019s wide brimmed hat in the distance peering back at them.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The present left a shadow on the memory. Instead of his young, thin arms reaching off the rock to rescue Colin from an imagined danger, he thought of pulling Colin from the cool waters of the river in the muffled darkness, his skin clammy with fear and sweat, a haunting song sending shivers through him. He remembered Colin whispering \u201cget away, get away\u201d through clenched teeth while Alec tried to run back to the river.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots carefully tried to hide the worry from his face as he crossed the field. Colin glanced up at Boots\u2019 approach with a weak smile, then went back to what he was doing, which was picking long blades of grass and splitting them along the middle with his thumb. Boots settled himself on a corner of the stone and pulled up some blades of his own and set about twining them together.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWere you waiting for me?\u201d Boots asked.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. Figured you would come this way eventually,\u201d Colin said, fiddling with the grasses.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you feel?\u201d Boots asked, after a bit.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin shrugged. \u201cFine, I guess; like I was almost kidnapped by goblin ladies. Had they not been so skinny, maybe I wouldn\u2019t have minded so much.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots gave a little laugh and Colin smiled crookedly.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid\u2026were you\u2026was it bad?\u201d Boots finally asked.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin took in a shaky breath, but his hands stayed steady as he finished twisting up a blade of grass and bent to pluck another from the ground. He kept his eyes on what he was doing as he spoke; Boots could tell he was trying hard to keep his voice level.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a little like being drunk I guess, like I couldn\u2019t really tell everything that was happening. They said \u2013 Burig and that tall lady \u2013 they said it was the song that does it, sort of like hypnotizes you. So, I was afraid but not really. And when they pulled me into the water I \u2013\u201d he stopped, and his hands were still.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots thought of bumping along the forest floor in a daze, the nikka hauling him along by his ankles, afraid but somehow not, like he was watching himself in a nightmare.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWas it like you sort of wanted to go with them?\u201d he asked in a careful tone. \u201cLike when you know you\u2019re dreaming but can\u2019t tell yourself to wake up?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, a little like that,\u201d Colin said, but in a way that maybe meant it wasn\u2019t quite like that at all. He wound some grass around his fingers and pulled it tight, then unwound it again.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, did you hold on to the teeth?\u201d Colin asked, changing the subject and his tone.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI did,\u201d Boots said, brightening up. \u201cI have them in the cart, just in case I saw you. Just wait.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots hurried over to the cart and pulled out the bag of teeth. When he brought them over, he was relieved to see Colin\u2019s eyes light with genuine anticipation as he took the bag. Colin reached in and took one out to inspect it, a happy smile on his face.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I\u2019ll put one on a necklace. And when Balert asks about it I\u2019ll tell him I carved it out of bone and watch it drive him crazy wondering if I\u2019m lying or not.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots laughed at such a convoluted, but effective, plan to annoy Balert to no end. Colin\u2019s smile was impish. \u201cThey took the shark away, you know. He\u2019ll never get his hands on any piece of it now.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then the smile slipped and a change came over Colin. It was so slight that Boots wondered if he had imagined it. But there was something about the set of his features, a sadness around the edges and a shadow in his eyes that Boots had never seen on his friend\u2019s face before.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid Burig take the whole shark away?\u201d Boots asked. He was trying to remember if he had overheard anything about it from Jayna or Burig; but everything was still a wash of sweaty terror and confusion.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin studied the tooth, turning it over in his fingers.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think it was him, or who he was with,\u201d Colin said, in a cautious voice that made Boots consider who would have taken the shark. He realized that it may not have been a \u201cwho\u201d but a \u201cwhat\u201d.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWas it the -\u201d Boots could not quite say it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe nikka?\u201d Colin supplied the word as if it cost him something and Boots regretted not saying it himself. \u201cThat\u2019s what they said, at least that\u2019s what I thought I overheard.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin dropped the tooth in the bag and went back to absently twiddling with a long piece of grass, effectively avoiding Boots\u2019 scrutiny.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to you after, after Burig took you away? I tried to stay with you but he said I might get in the way. I\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t,\u201d Boots said.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin waved away the concern. \u201cI barely knew what was happening. Bridda was there, and Burig, but another woman was there, her name was Chandra.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think she\u2019s from the Cloisters,\u201d Boots said, suddenly.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know!\u201d Colin added, the gleam of excitement returning to his face. \u201cAt least I was certain I overheard that. I guess I must have been asking about you, but she didn\u2019t know what I meant, and she kept saying \u2018your boots are fine, they\u2019ll be dry in the morning\u2019.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This got a laugh and Colin continued with what he could remember. \u201cShe and Burig were talking about the shark and the fish and the flood. They were saying how \u2018he\u2019s taken more than ever, this time\u2019 and talking about shortages of fish and how much the waves off the ocean destroyed.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots let all this sink in. \u201cBridda had said something about that, about the wave coming all the way from the coast. It seems impossible.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know. How big would that be?\u201d Colin wondered. \u201cI can\u2019t even imagine.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Both friends took a moment to think about the large wave bearing down on them in Holding River and tried to picture it large enough to wipe out an entire village. They couldn\u2019t, not really.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho was the \u2018he\u2019 they were talking about?\u201d Boots asked. \u201cDo they think something other than the weather caused this? Like the -\u201d Boots hesitated then pushed the word out \u201c- like the nikka did it? Aren\u2019t they sort of ladies, like \u2018she\u2019 and not \u2018he\u2019? Did the \u2018he\u2019 <\/span>send<\/span><\/i> the nikka?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe something like that,\u201d Colin said. And his tone told Boots they were thinking the same thing but were not prepared to say it. <\/span>Someone else,<\/span><\/i> Boots thought, <\/span>as in not a regular person.<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRemember how my mother, Luthi and Jayna were going on making all those charms and stuff?\u201d Boots said, quietly, as if what he was suggesting should be a secret. \u201cAround the shark? And I was telling you about protection and that sort of thing. But there was nothing hurt to cure, like the way you would for healing. It wasn\u2019t medicine they were doing there. It was more like…like it could be magic, maybe.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin blew out a breath of air at the word \u201cmagic\u201d, as if it had loosened something he was trying to hold on to. His reaction prompted Boots to finish his thoughts. \u201cAnd Chandra, and what she was doing. That was like magic too, right?\u201d Boots added. \u201cNot like an herb packet to bury in the fields, or a simple rhyme to help the bread rise or even a charm for a safe birth. It was something more than any of that.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin nodded. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t anything I could understand. Even when I was there, she sort of healed me, but it wasn\u2019t like anything your mother or Jayna would have done. It was strange, like from the inside out. Like…it was very strange.\u201d He finished, looking down at his feet.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was quiet then, but it was abuzz with unspoken thoughts. The words <\/span>wizard<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>magic <\/span><\/i>seemed to want to speak themselves into the air between them.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Just that morning, Boots had shared a morning blessing with Luthi. The idea of gods, and luck, and fairies and charms and potions were woven into the fabric of their lives in Holding. But it was woven in like embroidery on a family heirloom, something treasured, but also something worn and familiar, something you only stopped to marvel at when you had a moment to think about it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This new idea of magic was something strange and foreign, like the blight that crept into the fields. It brought sharks, and floods and creeping things from the river. If the idea of magic in Holding was like an embroidered cloth, this new idea of magic was like the underside of that same cloth \u2013 where you saw the crisscross of wrong colours, the knots and the snarls of thread. Boots thought about what Bridda had said, about protecting people by keeping the truth from them. About the truth he had been keeping so far. How big of a truth would someone be willing to hide?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because if Burig and Bridda had asked Boots and Colin to lie about the nikka to protect everyone else in Holding, what further lies did they tell to protect Boots and Colin?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He tried to imagine being a villager in Holding who had passed a regular night with no knowledge of the nikka. How many unseen and unknowable threats would you want to have heaped on you in the morning? How would you feel if someone told you those threats were magical?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a little bit like your mum\u2019s map, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Colin said, suddenly. \u201cLike you can look at everything, and think you understand it, but it\u2019s nothing like being there.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots looked at Colin quizzically as he continued to explain.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour mum was telling us about the kings, and the lords, and the…the wizard that might have been. We know what all these people are, but we don\u2019t really know them, we don\u2019t understand all the little bits and details about how and why they do things. Like, anyone can look at where Holding is on a map, but they don\u2019t <\/span>live <\/span><\/i>here.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cMaybe that\u2019s not what I mean.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it makes sense,\u201d Boots said, understanding his friend. \u201cLike Bridda and Burig have a better map than the rest of us, and have been to more of the places, they have a lot more of it filled in with all kinds of details. So, they just know more, I guess.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Colin said. Then he yawned, causing Boots to do the same.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so tired,\u201d Colin declared through the yawn, \u201cI haven\u2019t slept right since that night. I keep -\u201d he stopped himself, \u201c- I just keep waking up.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t had a full night\u2019s sleep either,\u201d Boots said. \u201cI keep topping off the brew for my mom.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin eyed the sun as it tipped westward. \u201cWhat brew for your mom?\u201d he asked.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, just to help with her head. In this weather, it aches a bit,\u201d Boots said, quickly, then changed the subject. \u201cDid they say anything else, Chandra and Burig?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin sort of frowned, thinking through what he had heard.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of what they talked about was the -\u201d Colin stumbled on the word.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe nikka?\u201d Boots said, this time.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, them. Making sure they were gone and dealt with however that was supposed to happen.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots had a sudden image of Burig\u2019s sword stabbing through the nikka\u2019s open mouth as it lunged forward. He was not ready to think about that, or even really talk about it, and shook the thought away as he listened.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere was some…sometimes I think people were arguing or maybe everything just sounded sharp because I was in a fog. But it was mostly about if the area was safe. Chandra kept insisting that <\/span>they<\/span><\/i> got what they came for and wouldn\u2019t be back.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/i>Boots<\/span> let this thought settle. He was still trying to wrap his mind around a massive wave sweeping a shark through his village, only to then see nightmare fables come to life and try to drag him back to the river. <\/span>At least,<\/span><\/i> he thought, <\/span>if the nikka were after the shark and they took it, they really wouldn\u2019t have a reason to come back.<\/span><\/i> A thought occurred to him, then, and he went pale.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh gods, the teeth,\u201d he said, reaching out to clutch the bag.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no, it\u2019s alright, I think,\u201d Colin said, giving Boots\u2019 arm a nudge. \u201cBridda knew what we were up to, remember when she was looking at where we were hiding and led Albo and my dad away? She guessed what we had done, and she thought to ask about it.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d Boots asked, \u201cbecause I\u2019m ready to throw that bag in the river and never look back if we need to. I kind of threw it out of the house last night. I didn\u2019t feel safe with it around.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They looked at each other, then at the bag.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was pretty certain, that Chandra woman. Insisting that it was safe and those things gone from the river. It was more like Burig kept asking her to be certain and she kept reassuring him that it was fine. I guess we could give the teeth to Bridda?\u201d Colin suggested, sounding less confident about keeping the bag.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOr we could just bury them, right here,\u201d Boots said, anxious to solve the problem right away. \u201cAnd then ask Bridda about it when we see her.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When we see her,<\/span><\/i> Boots thought, and realized he was not exactly looking forward to that moment. Bridda had been correct, Boots did not like being asked to lie, especially by someone he considered to be good. He felt it made him dishonest, and that made them dishonest as well.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin agreed and Boots grabbed a shovel from his cart and started digging a hole close to the base of the stone. As Boots dug, he looked over at Colin, who was back to contemplating the grass.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBurig and Bridda, did they ask <\/span>you<\/span><\/i> not to tell anyone about it? To keep the nikka a secret?\u201d Boots asked.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin half smiled. \u201cYou sound so guilty and you aren\u2019t even really lying about it yet.\u201d He grabbed at a few more tall blades of grass and pulled them out of the ground.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut are you going to?\u201d Boots asked.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin twined the long grasses around his finger then dropped the snarl on the ground and scuffed it with his toe while he answered. \u201cIt makes sense, I guess. They said there\u2019s no more danger and I want to believe them. Also, it\u2019s not really a story I want to tell. I mean, getting kidnapped by skinny spirits in soaking nightgowns? And having you as my rescuer?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it was more Bridda.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot better,\u201d Colin said. \u201cBut I don\u2019t really want to be talking about it, reminded of it. Maybe that\u2019s selfish, though, to keep it to myself. Maybe people need to hear it?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots dropped the bag in the hole and started covering it up. It gave him time to order his thoughts.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He understood Colin\u2019s uncertainties, since they were the same as his own. But he had been thinking over Bridda\u2019s words and had begun to see the logic of her explanation, even if he was not sure he trusted it. So, he had decided that Colin\u2019s opinion mattered more, and he was prepared to do what Colin felt most comfortable with. He took a breath and ventured his own version of what Bridda had said to him.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know what you mean, about telling or not telling. I keep thinking that everyone should know too. But I\u2019ve been thinking a bit on what Bridda told me. She said something about not giving people things to be afraid of if they don\u2019t have to, that it can cause problems that we don\u2019t need. I\u2019ve…I\u2019ve been thinking about it. And maybe it\u2019s like a few summers ago when we told Shase and Jono that there was a goblin in the woodshed. Remember, for the next few weeks you had to do all his chores with him because he was too afraid to go anywhere near it alone?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin gave a small smile at the memory. \u201cNever mind the chores, I had to sit beside him until he fell asleep every night, and he\u2019d bolt up every time the tiniest sound was made.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat too,\u201d Boots said. \u201cHe was afraid, he didn\u2019t sleep, you didn\u2019t sleep, and the chores didn\u2019t get done properly, or you had twice the work to do.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd my mother found out and I was last in line for meals a good five days.\u201d Colin added as the memories came back.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, and Jove had some of the same problems with his brother, Jono. And remember we didn\u2019t want to tell him it was us that made up the story and caused all the problems? I think he half guessed it, but we felt pretty silly about it. All that extra trouble because Shase and Jono were afraid of something that wasn\u2019t even really there.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin thought this over, then spoke Boots\u2019 own doubts at him. \u201cBut the nikka actually <\/span>were<\/span><\/i> there, we didn\u2019t make anything up this time.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the big difference,\u201d Boots agreed. \u201cAnd I keep thinking, what if there had been a real goblin, but we got rid of it before your brother ever knew about it?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCould we be certain there would never be a goblin in the woodshed ever again? Would it be safe if we never warned him?\u201d Colin asked, finishing Boots thoughts again.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The two friends thought in silence. Boots pressed down the dirt that now covered the shark\u2019s teeth and Colin grasped a fresh handful of long grasses.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t as though consequences had never been part of their lives before, it was just that they had previously faced consequences that were predictable and bearable. Being last in line for dinner or helping Bessie clean her cold stores was inconvenient \u2013 but it was hardly disastrous \u2013 and they had always faced their punishments the way they had earned them, together, and with a little bit of humour. Recently, though, they were learning about the kind of consequences that could not fully be shared, or borne, or resolved in an afternoon of semi-contrite chores.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Deciding whether or not to tell the rest of the village about the nikka was a decision with, as Boots saw it, pretty clear consequences. He put the thoughts he had been mulling over into words. Hoping that by giving them shape, and sharing them with Colin, they could be seen more clearly.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf we tell them, and nothing happens, then it will look like we are worrying everyone for nothing. If we tell them and something happens, then there is a chance people could be prepared. If we don\u2019t tell them, and nothing happens, life goes on as it always has, everyone is happy.\u201d He finished with what was, in his opinion, the worst scenario. \u201cIf we don\u2019t tell them and something bad <\/span>does<\/span><\/i> happen, then they will be unprepared and we will feel terrible about anything that goes wrong. It just seems like if we make the wrong decision, it could have a bad outcome, don\u2019t you think?\u201d Boots finished.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin riffled the tops of the long grass while Boots spoke, slowly bending them with his palm and letting them spring back. He did this a few more times after Boots stopped speaking.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he said, \u201cI went back to the river.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

His voice sounded different; Boots kept listening in stunned silence.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI stood \u2013 I stood in the exact spot you found me in. I, I went into the water there up to my ankles.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though Boots already knew that Colin was not going to get swept away by the nikka, he still felt a tingle of apprehension along the back of his neck when he pictured Colin standing there, the cold water lapping at his feet, the ghost of a thin hand reaching for his ankles.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was scared.\u201d Colin continued in that strange voice that was sort of far off, he was still running his hand over the tops of the grass. \u201cI was terrified, but only of the memory. The water itself felt…exactly the same. It was just Holding River; and the place I was in was just the same as ever. All of it, the trees, the smell, the sounds, it felt exactly the same. Unchanged and untouched. Except for me.\u201d His hand stopped. \u201cI was the only thing that was different.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots felt something fit in place inside of him, like a heavy stone rolled into a hollow, as he realized he understood perfectly what Colin meant. He had just never thought about it long enough to define it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots thought of how he had felt after losing his fingers, outcast and separated from everyone else. Sure, he felt ashamed and embarrassed about what had happened, but there was something more than that. It was knowing that no one else he encountered had experienced what he had, and they would never know who he had become because of it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What happened to Colin was known only to a few, there was no public shame. He probably did not feel, as Boots often did, that he in some way <\/span>deserved<\/span><\/i> what had happened to him. But maybe that did not matter, maybe who knew and what you deserved were not important, maybe <\/span>feeling<\/span><\/i> different was the only thing that mattered.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though his trauma and Colin\u2019s were not the same, it seemed the end result was. Boots knew what it was to wake up and feel as though you no longer fit the shape of your life. He had been trying to pretend that he did, but he was aware that the edges were starting to chafe.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots looked over at Colin and thought of him ankle deep in the river, the terror of that night playing through his mind. It seemed either very stupid or very brave \u2013 most likely a little of both. He wondered if he and Colin would always feel that way about Holding River; every summer swim and early morning fishing trip weighed down with doubt, a little jump of fear when the water rippled, or the wind blew just so over the reeds.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Was that something they wanted everyone in the village to feel too?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, when you went there,\u201d Boots asked. \u201cYou thought it seemed safe, it felt safe? Enough to trust it?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Colin\u2019s face was creased with a kind of worried uncertainty. \u201cI think so. I don\u2019t know if you remember that feeling, just before the ground seemed to shake, you just knew something was going wrong.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots remembered the feeling, his arm hairs on end, the strange texture of the air, he felt his skin break out in prickles responding to the memory.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI remember,\u201d he said, quietly.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that feeling wasn\u2019t there, not at all. It was gone. It just didn\u2019t feel like anything bad was going to happen. If you, if you want to go to the river later and see for yourself and let me know?\u201d Colin said, trailing off with a question before continuing with his justification. \u201cAnd it isn\u2019t just me. Burig and Bridda and Chandra, they all said it was safe too. And I really don\u2019t think Burig would risk \u2013 would want to leave this place in danger. It\u2019s kind of his job, after all,\u201d Colin finished, his eyes cutting to Boots.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think I could do that, go to the river,\u201d Boots said, although he really did not want to. But if Colin could do it then so could he. \u201cAnd I won’t say anything, if that\u2019s what you want to do,\u201d Boots said. \u201cBut if you change your mind, then I\u2019ll tell the story with you. Just let me know.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d Colin said. And by the way he said it, Boots thought it somehow made his friend feel better.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They sat on the rock and watched the passage of a dragonfly as it landed on the bobbing heads of wildflowers amidst the green grass. The field simmered with heat and the buzzing and chirruping of insects. Boots\u2019 thoughts were crowded by everything Colin had said, but he was also thinking about his mother and how he should be getting back. He did not see any reason to tell Colin about his mother\u2019s illness at the moment, although in any other circumstances he would have, but why add to his friend\u2019s worries?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

More secrets for someone else\u2019s peace of mind,<\/span><\/i> Boots thought.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I should be going. Some things to check on.\u201d Boots said, trying to sound casual, but the emotions of the day were there in his voice.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Distracted by his own thoughts, Colin just gave Boots\u2019 shoulder a squeeze and a shove before saying goodbye.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots left and headed up the path. He kept flashing between the images of that chaotic night of confusing terror and Colin standing in the river\u2019s edge in the peaceful light of day. The face of the nikka, its tongueless mouth gaping wide reared into his memory followed by Colin\u2019s shocked face as he was pulled into the grass to be dragged into the river.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The thought made Boots feel sick for a moment, and he looked back, as if to be sure Colin was still there. And he was. Sitting on the rock, so still but somehow careful. He watched his friend take a swig from a waterskin and stare off into the distance, as if he was seeing something much further away than anyone else could understand.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots trudged up the path to his cottage, and the walk home that usually cleared his mind had only muddled things further. With nothing to distract him from his thoughts, he had time to add all the different details to his worries and wonders. The nikka and what they were after, the shark\u2019s teeth and if they were in danger for taking them; and once he had plumbed the depths of those worries, he could no longer hide what he was burying deepest: magic and the formless shadow of some unknowable threat looming over it all.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wizard. Sorcerer<\/span><\/i>. His mind whispered at him as he plodded along, trying to outpace the idea of it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was not until he opened the door to his cottage and looked over at a most welcome sight that all his troubled thoughts fled. The curtain for his mother\u2019s bed had been pulled aside. Jayna was still there and was sitting at her bedside. had pulled the curtain back and was sitting at her bedside. Meranin was propped-up with pillows and blankets, looking worn out, but her eyes looked his way and saw him when he came through the door.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cMother, you look almost awake,\u201d he said, making his way over to the bed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0He gave Jayna a hopeful, questioning look that was met with an encouraging smile. He felt a tingle of relief.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBoots,\u201d Meranin managed to rasp out with a tired smile.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Her voice was very hoarse, barely a whisper. The covers moved as she tried to lift her arm, he reached out and took her hand. Jayna brought over a stool and he sat down.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s been awake for a bit. I was just giving her a bit of a fill-in on the happenings around here. About how that Burig fellow was here and gone again, seems to have taken that shark with him.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots felt a guilty jump at the mention of the disappeared shark corpse. He noticed his mother frown at the mention of the captain.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, is that what happened?\u201d Boots asked, vaguely. \u201cOh yeah, Colin mentioned something about it. Just now. When I saw him. Because his dad was there, at the river with them. All of them. Burig.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots felt that Jayna may have been giving him a rather level look, but he could have imagined it. He wondered if Jayna knew something more than just the village gossip, if the charms she worked near the shark gave her any inkling as to what had broken through them.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow is she doing?\u201d he asked. \u201cIs she improving? Is the phlegm cleared up?\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNot entirely,\u201d Jayna replied. \u201cSorry to say there will still be some of that. And although she is lucid now, she still has a low fever, and you can see she is already tiring. It\u2019ll be another few days before we see real improvements, I\u2019m afraid.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Indeed, Meranin\u2019s eyes, which had been drifting open and shut while they spoke, were now closed. Her hand had gone limp in his and he tucked her arm back into the bed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s alright. As long as she isn\u2019t getting worse,\u201d Boots said.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, certainly not worse,\u201d Jayna agreed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t suppose she said anything about where she had gone?\u201d Boots asked.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, she did not. But her voice is still weak from coughing and illness. Maybe when she is feeling better, she will share her story with us.\u201d Jayna said, with a smile that knew how unlikely this was. Boots responded with a similar smile and stood up from his stool.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI went through the garden and picked and sorted a few things, I hope you don\u2019t mind. Some of it I\u2019m going to bring back with me to prepare so nothing goes to waste.\u201d Jayna said.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots looked over at the table and saw several baskets and pots in the house had been filled with various things from the garden. There were also a few sacks and some bunches of herbs that Jayna was rolling up in a cloth.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll sort through it all with Meranin when she\u2019s better. I\u2019ll probably take some jars for storage too; I don\u2019t have enough at my place.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d Boots said. \u201cI can\u2019t thank you enough, not just for your medicine, but for coming to stay. I don\u2019t know how I would manage without -\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And Boots stopped, because he had suddenly teared up, and if he kept talking, he might start to bawl outright.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Embarrassed, he made a gesture and a sort of grumble and went outside to start unloading his cart. He was relieved that Jayna did not immediately follow him out the door. By the time she bustled outside with two full baskets he was able to look at her and smile without feeling that it looked like a wince.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s fine Boots,\u201d she said, her voice full of kindness and understanding. \u201cYou do a lot. And you have recently been through a lot. The flood, and your mother being sick, and trying to keep both fields going…sometimes we just get overwhelmed.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He nodded, but the tears still threatened. She pulled him in for a quick hug and a pat on the back. \u201cNot only am I the healer here, I am also Meranin\u2019s friend. And, in case you have forgotten, the person that rescued you and Colin that time you somehow managed to tie yourselves to a tree and couldn\u2019t get free. You can\u2019t be feeling brave all the time, I know it.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots gulped up a laugh. \u201cWe were trying to gain Wodan\u2019s knowledge,\u201d he said, referring to the story of how Wodan tied himself to the world tree.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess we\u2019re lucky neither of you realized that Wodan used a noose,\u201d Jayna said, stepping away and picking up her baskets again. \u201cI\u2019ll come by tomorrow, in the afternoon again. Go and eat something, Boots. You are handling everything so well, keep yourself strong.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots thanked her again and waved. He watched her make her way along the path with her baskets and felt very fortunate to count her as a friend.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not long after Jayna left his mother started coughing. The coughs wracked her body, it seemed worse than it had the other night, and he fought a kernel of panic that something was wrong. But then he heard the phlegm come loose, and she was coughing up more black goo which he caught in a scrap.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She took a deep, shuddering breath and seemed to settle. He peeked in the cloth, making sure there was no blood, before tossing it into the fire as Jayna had instructed. For the first time he wondered what a \u201csignificant amount\u201d of blood would be and wished he had asked Jayna while hoping he would not have to find out. Then he gave his mother something to drink and laid a fresh compress across her neck and chest.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There were a few more coughs, but they were drier, and evidence that things were settling. He stayed at her side, giving her more water when she would take it, until she fell asleep.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As he looked at her face, he thought back to the moment he had stood in the doorway of the cottage, facing the night, waiting for the pale, slender form of the nikka to come lurching through the darkness. Instead, he had found his mother, exhausted and ill, clinging to the fence. He broke out in a cold sweat.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The events of the past few days spun through his head in a blur. He sat down hard on the floor and tried to take some deep breaths. Spots rolled in from the edges of his vision and threatened to overtake his sight with rushing water, pale limbs and sharp shark\u2019s teeth. He looked up at the mantle through his wobbling sights to where the bag of shark\u2019s teeth had previously sat. Glad that he had taken them out of the house and buried them by the rock.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With the shark\u2019s teeth gone he saw only the carved, wooden horse toy from his youth. He focused on the horse, took some breaths and thought about what advice his mother would give.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Breathe. Feel what you are feeling. Focus on something else.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned and looked over at his mother, his eyes fell on Meranin\u2019s worn pack that he had left at the foot of the bed instead of hanging it on a peg on the wall. The reason for that was because that strange, dark grey shard was still in it. He did not know what it was, but he felt it should be nearby in case she awoke looking for it. He wondered, belatedly, if he should have shown it to Jayna.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing up he tucked the pillows around his mother to make her more comfortable, a slight tremor in his hands as he did so. His eyes fell on his scarred right hand as it drew the curtain around her bed and he had a sudden flash of memory \u2013 being in the field, horse\u2019s hooves pounding through the earth, the sharp explosion of pain. A twinge of hurt echoed up his arm and he pulled it back from the curtain.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Boots had the distinct feeling that each day was a wall he built, damning up his emotions and worries with bricks of work and duties. When he was busy, he had less time to think. To think about the nikka, the shark, his mother\u2019s illness and \u2013 a new worry, just today \u2013 the strange hollowness in Colin\u2019s eyes. But when he came home to the house, silent except for his mother\u2019s raspy breathing, all those thoughts crowded back into his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

His mind was abuzz, he could barely think and only think. So, he did the one thing that had always brought him a sense of calm, that narrowed his mind to a point, gave him one focus and left the rest of his thoughts behind.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He dragged out the target and fetched his bow and arrows, and as he did so he found himself revisiting thoughts of change and sameness. What he told Luthi was true, even though he knew he could never shoot a bow the way he did before, it was still something he wanted, needed, enjoyed. Even though it reminded him of what he had lost, he still had not lost the connection to the familiar routines it brought to his life. He thought of what his mother had said, about fate. How every life was speeding to the same ocean, it was just a matter of what currents you rode.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe, he thought, you were a fish in those currents, or a little boat. And as you sped along you collected things both wanted and unwanted \u2013 connections to people, skills, memories, habits, fears, loves, pains, losses, and gains \u2013 collecting like stubborn barnacles along the hull, or pretty shells gathered and scattered in the prow, or like weeds tangled in the oars. And those things you collected stayed with you, as you jumped from one current to the next, one stream to the next. You gained things, he thought, and maybe sometimes you lost them if they shook free when you changed course, or you tipped them overboard. Maybe sometimes they left a little something behind.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He thought of Colin standing in the river, changed and the same.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And then the target was before him and his bow was in his hands. And he thought of nothing more but the pull and release of the string, and the whistling of the arrow through the air.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As Boots had listened to Luthi\u2019s story, the light from the rising sun\u00a0had pierced through the trees and was now cresting the tops. He could tell by the how the rays arrowed sharply across the garden and fields that it was going to be another …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-boots"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=347"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":350,"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347\/revisions\/350"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fictionforest.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}